Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tightness

I've had a pang of anxiety today.  My chest feels tight and I feel listless (which is ironic as I have dozens of lists written in various notebooks and scraps of paper!)

I did the washing and made the beds.  Still it is there.

I posted this and then felt bad for not putting any effort into it.  Even though receiving this order of yarn was thrilling, it hasn't eased the grip in my chest.




I've watched my boys play with playdough.  I am happy, they are adorable, but the feeling is still there.

I made a cup of tea, my favourite brew:





One packet of Twinings Lady Grey tea leaves mixed with ground nutmeg, ground cinnamon and ground ginger. Brewed in my little aqua tea pot, a colour that usually eases me and poured into a little mug with soy milk.  Yep, the gripping feeling is still there.



I pondered this pile of knitting projects.  Wondered if I should stick to one thing at a time- is this making me uneasy?



I want to keep going with this bullseye blanket but my crochet tension is too tight!  Probably due to bouts of anxiety.  Hmph!  I seem to crave crocheting when I am at my most wound-up!  Would explain the tension issues hee hee.  Any advice, crocheting friends?  Should I abandon these and start again with a larger hook or can these be saved? Please help!

I've been smelling a mouldy smell in my wardrobe since all the rainy weather was here so I investigated that this morning.  I found the source!  Three pairs of shoes are now in the bin as they were white with fur.




These are my 'good' shoes.  Thankfully a quick wipe down with clove oil has done the trick.  Quick job really, seeing that I only own 7 pairs of 'good' shoes.  I have 3 pairs of thongs/sandley things, 1 pair sneakers, 1 pair ballet flat type of shoe, 1 pair knee-highs (bought years ago when they were crassly called FMBs) and 1 pair of casual shoes that look like bowling shoes.  I think that is not many shoes . . . is it?  14 pairs of shoes?  How many do you own?  Most of mine are years old!

Finding and removing the mould was satisfying, but not anxiety relieving.

I should go for a walk but the boys don't like sitting in the pram.  Plus they are jolly heavy little creatures to push up hill in a pram that has leaky tyres!




The celery leaves are drying out in the oven for celery salt.

I want to bake happy bickies, happy granola and an apple crumble.  But my mind is shifting.

I haven't spent time with God.  What's a bet that is what is causing this angst!  Yes.  That is it.  But the tension is high.  I know! . . . some gentle music, instrumental hymns  . . . . and perhaps the boys will calm down too!

What do you do when you need to spend time alone with God but you have the little people crawling all over the place?

"I have loved thee with an everlasing love and with lovingkindness have I drawn thee" Jeremiah 31:3

P.S.  this is what I found on my phone.  My little phone hijacker: <3



Cuteness to the max!

1 comment:

  1. Oh I wish I had read this back when it was written...
    us mama's all have days like this, I'm glad you were sensible enough to take it easy and make a cuppa!
    Maybe put some crazy worship music on and let the kids join in on the God time - I sometimes find putting Hillsong Kids DVD on when the kids or I are in foul moods helps to lift the yuk!
    xxx

    ReplyDelete

Hey thanks for popping by! I read all your comments and really try and get to your blog too. Despite my good intentions, I don't always reply to each message but I am very grateful for the time you take in sharing your thoughts with me. Word verification is back up because I am getting spammed big time. So thanks for taking that extra step in commenting. Blessings, Fi xxxxx

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